Nine signs you’ve accidentally fallen into a Thomas Mann short story

Nine signs you’ve accidentally fallen into a Thomas Mann short story

  1. You are a quiet, gentle man, but you swiftly lose your mind and perhaps even your life as a result of unrequited love for a woman you’ve seen in person maybe three times at most.

  2. You are a quiet, gentle woman who loves soft music and sitting down; you quietly, gently fade away until you are in fact dead.

  3. You are a patient at a sanatorium and your ideal of cynical wit is referring to one of your fellow patients whom you dislike as “the putrefied child”.

  4. You die of apoplexy after seeing a cyclist cycling in the wrong place.

  5. You are a beautiful, wealthy young woman with a single unusual character trait; you go about your daily business while men you hardly know are suffering and dying for your love all around you.

  6. You have a minor physical or mental impairment that threatens your happiness, and although you struggle against it valiantly for many years and manage to build a meaningful life, it is still ultimately your undoing.

  7. You are a small, beautiful dog, but you are unfortunately irrelevant in the present context, and thus must be ignored.

  8. You experience a public nervous breakdown with strong religious overtones after seeing a sexy picture on display at a private gallery.

  9. You are an unhappy person by nature. You believe you can fool yourself into being happy, but you can’t, and then you die.

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